Newsletter – 22nd January 2026
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1st October 1950 – 19th January 2026
Around six weeks ago, Peter told the Lost Cousins community that he had been diagnosed with cancer and was undergoing further tests. The initial diagnosis in mid-October was followed by what was to be our last holiday in the Algarve, where he swam in the pool and enjoyed lunching out almost every day for a fortnight. Peter never smoked, he enjoyed red wine in moderation, he was not obese and had none of the usual chronic conditions associated with a man in his mid-70s. He was on no medication. On that basis, we were hopeful that some form of treatment would be possible.
But on the weekend before Christmas, Peter was told that the cancer had spread too rapidly and that a dangerous blood clot might prove difficult to manage. He was discharged from hospital for end-of-life care at home. Anyone who has been involved in caring for a terminally ill partner at home would understand how Christmas passed us by. Presents were not even wrapped, let alone exchanged. The Christmas tree remained in a bucket of water outside the front door. My overarching priority was to ensure that Peter was well cared for.
Not once did Peter complain or show fear, but he did express a wish that he could end his torment through assisted dying. “We treat animals better than this. How many more have to suffer like this? The decision makers are not the ones who are trapped in pain, with no control or choice.” He wanted me to speak out after his death, in the hope that one day others might have the choice that was denied to him.
Peter died early on Monday morning. He will be remembered by former colleagues in the computer games industry; the tens of thousands of people who grew up playing the software and video games that he masterminded; his remarkable group of friends from his childhood and early adulthood; the many business collaborators he worked with around the world; his siblings, step-siblings, nephews and nieces; our neighbours and friends – and by the many thousands of Lost Cousin members who have inspired Peter to make it his biggest passion (after me, that is!) over the past two decades. I have lived with LostCousins since its birth; it was conceived out of frustration at the lack of accuracy of sites like Genes Reunited, and the low uptake of computer technology to augment largely paper-based genealogical research methods. He wanted to create something better, so that serious family historians would not be wasting so much of their time. Lost Cousins was primarily designed as a “social project”, more for social good than for profit. We handed out leaflets in the hot sun, courted interest from data providers, magazines and a few celebrities- and with the addition of his masterclasses and newsletters, Peter’s dream took flight. A simple system which enables individuals to find, meet and share information with their “cousins” to save precious time. Because we never know when that time might run out.
Three days after Peter died, I am thinking about him with thanks for a joyful life together that was lived well and lovingly. Of course, he worked every single day on Lost Cousins- even on holiday (sometimes on the flight)- but it was a happy menage a trois. One can never be bored with genealogy because there is always more, always something interesting, and always interesting people to meet. I had initially thought that genealogy was “all about dead people” but soon learned that genealogy is all about how our ancestors lived- and this activity captivates and enriches the lives of millions of people worldwide.
Peter wanted to thank you all for supporting Lost Cousins, and inspiring him to keep learning and sharing his discoveries with you.
As for the transition following Peter’s death, I will need time to attend to formalities and recover my energies. There will be no newsletters between now and Easter week. The competition prizegiving and presentations will be postponed until early summer (entry dates have not changed). Email correspondence may take longer to process. However, everything else – including the forum activities (thank you Tim)- will operate as usual. And I am sure that in future years, our Lost Cousins community and valued collaborators will help to make Peter’s legacy something that he would still be very proud of.
Peter had one more request to share with you. He asked that instead of sending messages of condolence, members might “add a few more ancestors to the database instead”. That is so typical of Peter, and I knew well enough not to argue with him! But if anyone does feel moved to send a message, you are most welcome even if I may not reply for a while.
Thank you, from both of us. And farewell from our wonderful, incomparable Peter.
Peter Calver
Founder, LostCousins
© Copyright 2026 Sian Lloyd
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